Monday, March 1, 2010
Monday, July 13, 2009
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They were on a road with a tollbooth. At the tollbooth, instead of having to pay to get on the road, they had to state a fact. If they told a lie, the ground would open up and swallow them. The brunette went first, when she got to the tollbooth, she said, "I think red and blue mixed makes purple." she walked onto the road without the ground opening up and swallowing her. The redhead went next. When she got to the tollbooth, she said "I think 2+2 is 4." she walked onto the road without the ground opening up and swallowing her. The blonde went last. When she got to the tollbooth, she said "I think" and the ground opened up and swallowed her.
So three girls are lined up on execution day, all charged with murder, and are destined to be shot one by one. There was a red head, a brunette, and a blond. The red head was first, the guard lined up his gun and the chief began to direct him with " READY, AIM. .." and the Red head yelled " TORNADO!" Everyone ducked to the ground and the red head escaped just in time. Next was the Brunette. The guard re-lined up his gun and the chief began to call out " READY, AIM.." And the brunette yelled out " HURRICANE!! " once again, everyone ducked and the brunette escaped. By now the blond was finally catching on. The guard re-lined up his gun and the chief began his call again " Ready, Aim!!" And the blond yelled " FIRE!"
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Remember a child
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.
"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."
"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"
"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!' ? It would make me feel so much better."
"Sure," answered the young man.
As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"
As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.
"How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"
"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.
"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."
"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"
"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!' ? It would make me feel so much better."
"Sure," answered the young man.
As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"
As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.
"How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"
"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.
At a grocery store
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, "No." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through - don't be upset. It won't be long now."
Soon, they came to the candy aisle and the little girl began to shout for candy. When told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, "There, there, Monica, don't cry - only two more aisles to go and then we'll be checking out."
When they got to the checkout stand, the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there'd be no gum purchased. The mother said serenely, "Monica, we'll be through this check out stand in 5 minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap."
The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Monica," he began.
The mother replied, "I'm Monica - my little girl's name is Tammy."
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, "No." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through - don't be upset. It won't be long now."
Soon, they came to the candy aisle and the little girl began to shout for candy. When told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, "There, there, Monica, don't cry - only two more aisles to go and then we'll be checking out."
When they got to the checkout stand, the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there'd be no gum purchased. The mother said serenely, "Monica, we'll be through this check out stand in 5 minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap."
The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Monica," he began.
The mother replied, "I'm Monica - my little girl's name is Tammy."
Collector's Cocoa Cake
Ingredients:
* 3/4 cup (1-1/2 sticks) butter or margarine, softened
* 1-3/4 cups sugar
* 2 eggs
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 2 cups all-purpose flour
* 3/4 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa or HERSHEY'S SPECIAL DARK Cocoa
* 1-1/4 teaspoons baking soda
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1-1/3 cups water
* ONE-BOWL BUTTERCREAM FROSTING or FLUFFY PEANUT BUTTER FROSTING(recipes follow)
Directions:
1. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease and flour two 8-or 9-inch round baking pans.
2. Beat butter and sugar in large bowl until fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla; beat 1 minute on medium speed of mixer. Stir together flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt; add alternately with water to butter mixture, beating until well blended. Pour batter into prepared pans.
3. Bake 35 to 40 minutes for 8-inch layers; 30 to 35 minutes for 9-inch layers or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks. Cool completely.
4. Frost with ONE-BOWL BUTTERCREAM FROSTING or FLUFFY PEANUT BUTTER FROSTING. 8 to 10 servings.
ONE-BOWL BUTTERCREAM FROSTING
6 tablespoons butter or margarine, softened
2-2/3 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa or HERSHEY'S SPECIAL DARK Cocoa
1/3 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Beat butter in medium bowl. Add powdered sugar and cocoa alternately with milk; beat to spreading consistency (additional milk may be needed). Stir in vanilla. About 2 cups frosting.
Tell us how you like it! We have never made it!!!!!!! :):):):)
Ingredients:
* 3/4 cup (1-1/2 sticks) butter or margarine, softened
* 1-3/4 cups sugar
* 2 eggs
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 2 cups all-purpose flour
* 3/4 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa or HERSHEY'S SPECIAL DARK Cocoa
* 1-1/4 teaspoons baking soda
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1-1/3 cups water
* ONE-BOWL BUTTERCREAM FROSTING or FLUFFY PEANUT BUTTER FROSTING(recipes follow)
Directions:
1. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease and flour two 8-or 9-inch round baking pans.
2. Beat butter and sugar in large bowl until fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla; beat 1 minute on medium speed of mixer. Stir together flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt; add alternately with water to butter mixture, beating until well blended. Pour batter into prepared pans.
3. Bake 35 to 40 minutes for 8-inch layers; 30 to 35 minutes for 9-inch layers or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks. Cool completely.
4. Frost with ONE-BOWL BUTTERCREAM FROSTING or FLUFFY PEANUT BUTTER FROSTING. 8 to 10 servings.
ONE-BOWL BUTTERCREAM FROSTING
6 tablespoons butter or margarine, softened
2-2/3 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa or HERSHEY'S SPECIAL DARK Cocoa
1/3 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Beat butter in medium bowl. Add powdered sugar and cocoa alternately with milk; beat to spreading consistency (additional milk may be needed). Stir in vanilla. About 2 cups frosting.
Tell us how you like it! We have never made it!!!!!!! :):):):)
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