Kringlers


These sweet pinwheels are made by twisting up cinnamon and sugar inside a flour tortilla. When heated, the filling oozes into the dough, creating a comforting snack that is best when accompanied by a glass of cold milk.
RECIPE INGREDIENTS:
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tbsp. sugar
Two 6 inch flour tortillas
2 tbsp. melted butter
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Combine the cinnamon and sugar in a small bowl. Spread out the tortillas on a flat surface and brush with the melted butter. Sprinkle half of the cinnamon and sugar mixture over each. Roll up the tortillas, jelly roll fashion, and set them seamside down in a small baking pan that has been brushed with melted butter. Brush the tops and sides with butter. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes. Cool the rolls and slice them into 1/2 inch pieces. Makes 2 servings.

Dumb Inventions

Glow-in-the-dark sunglasses
Wooden soap
Solar powered flashlight
Screen window for a submarine
Helicopter with an injection seat
Inflatable dart board
A tape on how to put together a vcr
The water proof tea bag
Water proof towel
A book on how to read
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal-powered wheel chair

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Patricia Whack

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.  He can see from
the teller's name plate that her name is "Patricia Whack".

 So he says:  "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go
 on a long vacation."

 Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to
 borrow. The frog says $30,000.  The teller asks his name and the frog says
 that his name is Kermit Jagger and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
 Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he
 will need to secure some collateral against the loan.

 She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral. The frog says,
 "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about
 half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed.

 Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the
 manager and disappears into a back office.

 She finds the manager and says:  "There's a frog called
 Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow
 $30,000.  And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny
 pink elephant saying.  "I mean, what the heck is this?"

 (Are you ready . . .)

 (Hang on to something . . .)


 So the bank manager looks back at her and says:  
 "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack.  Give the frog a loan. 
  His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Near Death Experience

I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day, I went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse starts bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart manager came and unplugged it. Thank goodness for heroes.

Awful 4-Letter Words

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

"Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mama!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words has he been using?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed! They're just too awful! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mama!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride replied, "Oh, mama...words like dust, wash, iron, and cook..."

The Wife

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.

"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.

"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"He said you're going to die," she replied.

Chocolate Ice Cream

A man approaches an ice cream van and asks, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please."

The girl behind the counter replied, "I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn't come this morning. We're out of chocolate."

"In that case," the man continued, "I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream."

"You don't understand, sir," the girl says. "We have no chocolate."

"Then just give me some chocolate," he insists.

Getting angrier by the second, the girl asked, "Sir, will you spell 'van,' as in 'vanilla?'"

The man spells, "V A N."

"Now spell 'straw,' as in 'strawberry.'"

"OK. S-T-R-A-W."

"Now," the girl asked, "spell 'stink,' as in chocolate."

The man hesitates, then confused, replied, "There is no stink in chocolate."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" she screams.